Monday, October 24, 2011

Before it was the Fast and the Furious, they were Slow and Content.


I spent the weekend in Ozurgeti aka the homeland of Erica and Clare.  What a mission it was getting there.  I got to Tbilisi at 2:30 to find out the marshrutka I needed to take only left at 6—BRUTUAL. So I found the marsh, got on it at 3 and sat there for 3 hours before it left.  Why I didn’t leave and just walk around Tbilisi still boggles my mind – I had a fear that once it filled up it would leave and I would literally lose my mind if I missed it.  So we finally leave around 6:30 and drive for 5 hours with the windows open going 60 km/hour.  It was soooo freaking cold, I thought I was going to lose a couple of toes.  I made a friend named Giorgi (what a surprise) on the marshrutka.  He shared his nuts and I shared my mp3 player—I was shocked to learn that he knew who major lazer was– I just re-read that.. his peanuts that is.  Communication here is difficult. It seems that if you write in English, they seem to understand what you are saying versus talking.  

I get to Ozerguti around midnightish, frozen into a big old block of pig jello, and realize that the hot spot of OZ was closing down for the night. Thus, we head back to Clare's house, watch Modern Family and pass out.  We wake up at 11 and the ladies show me around OZ—they have made best friends with a shawarma man.  I am getting hungry just thinking about those delicious shawarmas.  We head back home, hang out for a bit then get ready for dance class.  So I thought dance class was going to be an hour TOPS and then we can go get our drink on. *long pause* TWO AND HALF HOURS LATER… and me only learning 8 steps… Erica, Clare and I go off to get some food with Rezo and Zura, the dance teacher—who for the record can do a double jump in the air. Yeah. A double jump—a pump jump if you will. 




We had an awesome night filled with questionable conversations and diagrams about how going to hookers really doesn`t help sex once your married.  The night ended with us back at the dance studio listening to a rock band practise.  They were really good! They even played some requests.  We stayed until 4 in the morning with a bottle of vodka and Georgian red bull.




Since Clare is awesome and forgot her keys we had to sneak into Erica`s house to sleep that `night`.  I woke up to her host siblings looking at us through the door, saying HELLO J We got up, went to Clare`s where I grabbed my belongings and caught a marsh back to Tbilisi.  The ride back was HORRIFIC.  The driver would hit the breaks so hard that you would think he saw the ghost of his dead mother.  I somehow caught a cold… AGAIN. So I spent the majority of the trip trying to breathe and sleep while my head slammed against the window every 3 minutes.


Thursday, October 20, 2011

We wander for distraction but travel for fulfilment.


I've been having a really great week at school this week.  There is this little boy in grade 3 that has officially stolen my heart.  He was the first kid to give me a hug at school a couple of weeks back.  Then earlier in the week he ran over to me after class and gave me a kiss.  I can’t believe that once I am a teacher in Canada I will not be “allowed” to get this type of affection.  Why can’t I pat a kid on the head for doing something good or rub their back when they are giving up or struggling through something?  The kids here react very well to loving touch.  There are times when they are bouncing off the walls and a simple rub on the back or face can calm them right down.  Anyway, back to the new owner of my heart.  Today he ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug ever as I was walking through the halls with one of my co-teachers.  I turn to her and go “I love this little guy” and she’s like “Really? He is such a trouble maker and teachers hate it when he is in their class.”  Listen friends, this little guy just wants to see that someone cares about him.  I have seen his trouble maker side, the first couple of days I taught him but the second I started spending just a bit more time with him, he calmed down.  He is never troublesome in my class. 

I really love teaching and I don’t know why I haven’t written about it so far.  I guess it is because it is coming so naturally and feels so good that there is nothing to “report” on.  A couple of my co-teachers say they love my methods and how I interact with the little ones.  I got about 6 letters this week—all from little girls saying how they love me, and how they want to be like me when they grow up.   Some days are harder and it feels like I am getting now where.  Then there are other days, when you go into a grade 2 class and they are singing “You Are My Sunshine”. GRADE 2!! They haven’t learned English before and they are bringing me to tears because that song is so close to my heart!  *I am actually tearing up as I am writing this* I live for this stuff friends, I really do and I can’t believe it took me this long to get my ass in gear.  I remember when I was in grade 2, we had a student teacher.  I loved him so much. He taught me about the solar system and the color wheel—both things that I still know very well to this day. I totally remember the day he left, I literally ran home crying.  I don’t remember his name but it’s crazy how someone has such an influence on your life as a child and I am sure they don’t even realize it.  I’m sure that that is gonna happen here too—where there is that one child that I have an influence on and they will remember me for the rest of their life and I wont even know it.   I have never been so fulfilled in my life.  

Take the Shackles off my Feet so I can Dance!



Thursday after school I pretty much flew home to pack for the upcoming weekend.  Long weekend timeeeeeeee.  As I got home, Xaatia my host sister asked if she could come to Tbilisi with me and hang out with some of her friends but of course I am the alibi as she is 15.  Being half stupid and not getting what the implications of me agreeing would be—I said sure no problem.   So as I’m getting ready my brain kicks (thanks for the bathroom break! Damn brain messing up at the worst times) I realize that for my host sister to leave with me I would have to also RETURN with her.  I confided in another member of the family and she just told me to stop worrying so much and that everyone knew that she wasn’t really going with me.  Then why all the pretending?!

Thursday night Eva and I busted out stories from our high school glory days— cue image of two 43 year old balding men with beer bellies, stained white t-shirts reliving that one touchdown that won the game except we were in a hostel, drinking wine, eating bread like it aint no thang on bean bag chairs.  We then went to the classiest hooka bar in town with Siri and Michelle. No that was a lie. It’s not very classy, but it is nice and I sure do love our sexy stick man tattoo waiter.  He loves me;  he just doesn’t know it yet. That was also a lie.  He does know it.   Duncan and his baby boo Marci ended up joining us.  Duncan is a new friend I made in Rustavi—he is doing a great job at keeping me somewhat sane and reminds me of home without making me miss home. I don’t even know if that makes any sense.  In other words, his presence is helping me cope with the lack of personalities around me on a daily basis. We finish off the night at 5am back at the hostel with 2 more bottles of wine, sitting on the street side of the windowsill like a pack of suicidal maniacs.

Friday morning at 7 I wake up to my phone ringing and my brain wanting to escape through my ears. UPDATE. My ear is finally back to full hearing potential.  I am very excited about this friends—for a while I kid you not, I was worried about going half ear deaf.  Anyway, Erica and Clare were calling me to let me know that they have arrived in Tbilisi! I wasn’t as excited about it then as I am now writing about it so I tell them that we are at Big Star Hostel and to find it—then I hung up because we all know what a little ray of sunshine I am in the morning, let alone when I am being woken up.  The girls get to the hostel, take a short nap and we all wake up around 10:30.  We realize we are hungry like a pack of wolves and that we should really get some food before we start to gnaw off a piece of drywall.  We hop on the subway and decide to just explore and get off at any random stop and figure it out from there.  We ended up, god knows where, and after 20 minutes of walking the hunger rage started overcoming me so we went to a restaurant, got some food and decided to walk BACK to the hostel.  So that seemed like a good idea at the time.  Everything seems like a good idea at the time doesn’t it?  We found an awesome bazaar where I bought a pair of hot red stilettos—I am pretty sure they were the only NON BLACK shoes in all of Georgia.   We did a little shopping, with money we really didn’t have to spend and continued our Lord of the Rings journey back to the hostel.
That night we decided to play it by ear while we are eating at the best place in Tbilisi because it is cheap, delicious and they’ve got an English menu.  We call our girlfriend Kiki and she tells us to join her and some friends at Sky Bar.  We get there and a chick is standing at the door with a clip board—okay, let’s stop for a minute.  This alone should have raised money warning flags but it really didn’t occur to any of us.  So we tell her that we are “on the list” and we are then escorted 3 at a time up an elevator to the lounge.  The place had an amazing view of Tbilisi!! There was a live band that then turned into a DJ after midnight.  The five of us ordered a bottle of wine and danced the night away to such Top 40 hits as “Getting Jiggy with It” “Black and White” and “Praise You”. 


(If that's not passion for Gettin' Jiggy... I don't know what is)


We then ask for the bill as it is getting late and we had an early start the next day.  *long pause* It turns out the bill is 280 GEL… that is over half my salary for a month friends.  The reserving of the table alone was 140 GEL and everything else was based on consumption.  I almost had a hernia at the table—it meant that our 15 GEL bottle of wine now cost us 40 GEL each.  Thank the lord that there was a sane guy with the girls we went to see, as he saw our reactions and agreed that we should not have to pay that much as we didn’t know about being charged for the table.   That was a super awkward situation folks.  Never again.


(not impressed with bill situation)

On Saturday, Eva and I brought Clare and Erica to Rustavi so they can get a feel for where we live and what our lives are like.  It happened to be Rustavoba so we checked out the festivities for a while and then headed back to Tbilisi to meet up with Riley (aka Rosey—HAHAHA people can’t pronounce his name so they just call him Rosey, I am actually in hysterics writing this as it is the funniest name fuck ever).  6 of us then pile into a Jetta (5 of us in the back, Rosey up front and the driver) and off we go to a Rugby game stock piled with beer and vodka.   
(Erica, Eva, Hertz, Beth featuring Clare as our seat belt)

I still really have no clue what is going on in a Rugby game other then the fact that you can’t throw the ball forward and people are slamming into other people—correction… tanks who are pretending to be human are crushing into other tanks.  Saturday night was for sure fun, as it started off playing “Never Have I Ever” with a group of Georgians.  ‘Never have they ever ‘a lot of things friends—but being with a hooker was not one of them.  The gender relations here actually boggle the mind; as does the whole concept of being married.  Why any woman would allow her husband to be out and about at all times of the night with his “guy friends” confuses me… is there just a quota of ignorance that women need to fulfil here? There is no reason why anyone with a wife should be out past 2 in the morning without her… EVERY WEEKEND.  We ended up in Lobby Bar again, this is the third week in a row that I’ve been there—I’m starting to become a regular which is something that I never want happening in any country.  I need to stop going there *watch me end up there this weekend*.  Drama. Drama. Drama.  Lord knows I love the theatre but I don’t deal thewith drama. People crying and storming off.  Babies daddies being exposed… I might as well have had sat at home watching Maury. All the while, I’m just getting ma drank on.  Long story short, too much booze is not helping me waking up in the morning to go to Signaghi in the morning.

Sunday was a long, lazy, rainy day.  I get back to Rustavi around 9, get off the marshutka and I hear Mambo No. 5 blaring for speakers and I look up and see LOU BEGA live in Rustavi. *long pause* You know your career has gone nowhere when your agent has gotten you a gig in Rustavi-- granted Mambo Number 5 is still in the Top 40 over here.  I happened to catch the last song he was performing and then a fireworks show started.  It really made me miss home.  I wasn’t home this year for Canada Day or Labour Day so the fireworks got me reminiscing.  I met up with Xaatia and we went to see the party in the city square.  We run into Duncan and his host fam—drank some beer in a park, caught up on the happenings of the weekend and ended the night in a dance party in the streets.  The Rustavi Rave scene is clearly alive. 

Thursday, October 13, 2011

"The speedometer doesn't work"


Honestly, not much has happened since my post.  I feel much better! My ear is still a touch plugged but it seems to be getting better—either that or I’m just used to being deaf.  After being chained to my bed for 3 days I was ready to bust out once the weekend hit.  I went to Tbilisoba (its the festival day for the city-- kinda like “happy birthday” to Tbilisi but not) It was super crowded and busy.  Eva, I and a couple of other friends ended up at German Bar (a hooka place in Old Tbilisi) and we discovered the most delicious wine on the PLANET!  If I could drink this stuff all day, every day, I would.  Petey, a fellow TLGer from out of town, is walking around alone "taking a breather" from his host family.  He then goes onto explain how much booze he had during the day and how sick he was “I was hugging a Turkish toilet” (for anyone that doesn’t know what a Turkish toilet is, I pity you and your rich self—Google that shit. HA! Literally) I’m trying to think of funny stories but there really aren’t any other then Eva getting face raped by a random guy (who we later found out has a kid—everyone here seems to have been married with a child and divorced by 23). 




On Sunday we (Eva, Siri, her host family and I) went to Mtskheta. Yup, figure out how to pronounce that! I know your jealous I can *shines nails on shirt*.  It is a town about 30 minutes outside of Tbilisi. INSANE DRIVING.  It is a UNESCO World Heritage site with remains that have dated been dated back to earlier then 1000.  It was also the capital of Georgia back when Georgia wasn't even Georgia.  It was nice but when you see one church in Georgia— you've kinda seen them all.  I just really don’t get how they keep building these things up on the side of mountains.  If I was a back in the day church pioneer, I really would have spoken up. “Yes, yes I understand that this is beautiful and the view is incredible Mr. High Priest but your ass hasn't carried a single 40 ton BOULDER up the side of this or any of the other 5 mountains we've built 500 churches on!”


On Monday, we were enjoying some Jesus Juice and decided to go check out the bumper cars in Rustavi.  Let me just tell you that I had a shit load of fun, half-drunk just driving around feeling mighty Asian as I slammed into everyone I could.   I seem to find myself drinking a lot here.  I guess it’s because there is nothing better to do after school.  We work hard, we play hard.  I’m typically “tanked” by 6 in the afternoon.  Boy that sounds really sad. BUT IM NOT DRINKING ALONE.  I should have mentioned that before.  This is the most boring uneventful post ever. 

I can’t believe it is already Wednesday! We have a long weekend here because of Mshketoba- similar to Tbilisoba but different.  The holiday is essentially a veneration of God from the Sventitskhoveli Cathedral by the Goerigan Orthodox Church.  The creation of the Cathedral is based on Georgian "myth" that some dude named Eliazar, a citizen of Mtskheta, was present during the crucifixion of Jesus. Bla Bla Bla. Somehow he got a piece of Jesus' robe and brought it back.  Enough of my wiki history lesson.  It’s Clare’s birthday weekend and I am super excited about seeing my lovely ladies.  We plan on being in Tbilisi and having day trips to Signahi and maybe other places.   To be honest, I just want to chill and relax.  I’m old, weak and I seem to have started farting dust. 

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

"You have fire... in your ear"



I remember the last time I had an ear infection like it was yesterday (HA!).  I was 9 years old screaming at the top of my lungs that my ear hurt. My mom was in my room like a thief in the night with THE drops. Hot oil ear drops-- how she always had it ready so fast boggles my mind to this day.  I used to have infections and colds all the time until my doctor suggested I have my tonsils taken out and BOOM no more ear infections. UNTIL LAST NIGHT.


I have been sick for about 10 days now with a runny nose and coughing.  Last week while blowing my nose,  I popped my ear drum and haven't been able to hear properly since.  Come to think of it, Michael Jackson probably got rid of his nose because seriously-- noses cant make up their damn minds.  It can be plugged and then mucus will drip down your throat or go upward back and into your damn ear.  I had gone to bed at 9pm because I was feeling tired all week-- I figured that I will have a lovely day at school, then come home, get dressed and go off to Tbilisi to meet the President at some opening ceremony.  I was totally pumped.  At about 3 am I woke up to the feeling-- the feeling of murderous aching and pressure in my ear.  In an instant, I knew what was going on.  My arch nemesis found me after years of hiding and began the torture again. 


 I kept tossing and turning, trying to figure out ways to reduce the pressure in my ear.  Come 5am I couldn't deal with it any more, I got up, found my aspirin and went to find someone that was awake at home.  Thank god Murman was up! He made me some "hot salt" (the Georgian version of a hot water bottle) and that finally helped ease the pain.


I woke up this morning and had no choice but to go see a doctor. I called TLG and informed them about the monster setting up shop in my ear-- they quickly referred me to a doctor in Rustavi. I brought Murman with me as I was told the doctor did not speak English.


I walked into the building and was pleasantly surprised that it did not look or SMELL like any doctors office or hospital I had encountered in Romania. After about an hour of questions and getting checked out by her, I was sent to another doctor upstairs that looked at my ears and nose.  Then told me to get my thyroid gland checked out when I get back to Canada.  This kinda freaked me out but they said that "maybe your neck is just built with the gland so predominant." *long pause* She better not be saying I look like I have an Adams apple.  I got prescribed a bunch different types of medicines --from ear drops, to nose sprays to stuff that should help my stomach not get the shits. 


So here I am, with ear oil running down the side of my head, really sad that I am not going to be able to see the President tonight but happy to know that I had been taken care of professionally.  I am relieved to know that TLG is there when I need them.  

Monday, October 3, 2011

Batumi (September 18 & 19)


The weekend started with meeting Emma in Tbilisi on Saturday as she was visiting Lauren for the weekend.  We walked around Tbilisi, got some lunch and attempted to WALK UP a million and a half stairs to get some observation deck? to be honest, I have no clue where we were climbing to but it seemed like a good idea at the time.  We then got a call from Kiki to hang out (a native Georgian friend), met her at Freedom Square and went to Turtle Lake (Kus Tba) in Tbilisi – it’s a small lake on “top” of Tbilisi.



As we are sitting enjoying a lovely glass of ghvino, Eva gets a phone call and gets invited to a TLG event in Batumi.  I sat there waiting for the phone call and thought to myself—why the hell am I waiting around?! I asked her for the number, called them and asked if I could come too.  I was called back in about 5 minutes saying that I was very welcome to join.   We were asked to meet in Tbilisi at 9am the next morning, so I went home to pack and bust a sleep.

The bus ride to Batumi was super long—it took almost 9 hours but it was rather enjoyable as Eva and I sat right up front on the double decker bus and we got a lovely view of the whole ride there.   We stopped in Kutiasi for some lunch.  Lunch was awesome! I felt like a king—there was pretty much every type of Georgian traditional food available and we got to mingle with other TLGers from different groups including the group that came after me.  I love meeting new people!

We got to Batumi at 5:30 and were told that our rooms were not ready as of yet so about 25 girls had to run and get ready in the lobby bathroom of the hotel as we were due to go to a Georgian musical that the president was attending.  Honestly, I really hate people sometimes.  There was this woman in our group that was flipping out that the room weren’t ready and how difficult could it be to get everyone checked in.  ugh. I honestly wanted to punch her right in the face.  Let me make something clear—this entire trip was FREE. The bus ride, the awesome lunch, the show, the hotel room. EVERYTHING WAS FREE. How dare you complain when you aren’t spending anything.  Honestly, people have some nerve!   I later went over to the person she had been yelling at and apologized for her embarrassing and offensive behaviour.

The art house was beautiful!  It had just opened a few months before and was made pretty much out of glass—thank god I was wearing a dress and giving all the people downstairs a free show! The beginning of the show was delayed a bit as the president and his buddy from Morocco had to show up and get a standing ovation.  The play was wonderfully done.  Great music, creative costumes and beautiful singing.






We went back to our hotel, got our rooms assigned and to my surprise, Eva and I landed a luxury suite.





We invited our friends over and spent the night talking, drinking some delicious wine and putting off sleep—since its for the weak!   As the sun was rising we decided to go and check out the Black Sea as we were all leaving at 10 in the morning to head back home.




The trip was super awesome and I can’t thank TLG enough for taking me along.

Weekend in the bilisi of T


Although I love seeing friends I am beginning to realize that I hate big groups of people more and more. Too many opinions, too many bodies and it’s near impossible to get anything done in a timely fashion.  We look like a swarm of foreigners and you know how I hate swarms!

It was an awesome weekend though.  We arrived to Tbilisi Friday in the late afternoon, found a hostel that could accommodate off of us and waited for all the “out of towners” to arrive.  The wine in this country is actually out of this world!  It actually tastes like fresh, sweet as hell, grape juice.  My mouth is watering just thinking about it.  As we waited for everyone to slowly trickle in, it was time to bust out some wine—4 bottles were easily polished off with 7 of us there and off we went to a hooka bar—why “we” decided to sit outside on the covered patio while it rained boggles my mind, it was freezing.  Clare calls and says they have arrived in Tbilisi.

H- “Walk towards the man on the horse.”

C-“There is no man on the horse”

H- “He is on a mini mountain with a church behind him—his name is Erikle” 

So I had noticed a guy walking up and down old Tbilisi while Katherine and I, were on the phone  and on our way to pick up the girls from the Maxi Pad bridge.  I fully stopped him and started a conversation—as I fully hung up on Clare mid-convo.

H-“Hey, I’ve noticed you walking up and down the street. Where are you going?”

Giorgi- “I am meeting a friend. Where are you from?”

H- “I’m from Canada and she is from America. What’s your name and where are you from?”

Giorgi- “My name is LEBRON. And I am a basketball player. And I am from Tbilisi.” 

H- *confused look* “Ok, bye. See you later. “ (Please note- that his name was NOT Lebron and it never will be. There are NO LEBRONS in this country and if there are they are visitors—your name is Giorgi you damn liar!) 

The group was complete by 11pm and it was time for more wine.   We all ate, drank and went back to the hostel as we were all tired from a full work week and the long commute. Try getting 10 people into a hostel unannounced definitely not the easiest of tasks. Well we somehow did it—granted 8 people squeezed into a room that should only fit 4, and there was a lot of bed sharing but it wasn’t even the sexy kind.  One of us, Pete, got lucky by sleeping on a couch that I am sure was made of marble and barbed wire.  It was also the QUIETEST hostel in the universe. We could make practically no noise after 11—you live you learn I guess. Next time, we plan a bit more!

The next day we checked out Lilo—a large bazaar on the outskirts of Tbilisi.  I was very excited about getting some clothes. *long sigh* so apparently, I can’t find anything here. I need to cut down on the katchapuri :( I tried on a bunch of pants, all of which made me look like I was a reject from the Broadway musical Aladdin.   I also tried on a million boots, all of which can’t fit my damn calves.  Anyway, after splitting up and going off on my own I bought a pair of lower cut boots *with tassels on the back :)* and another pair of shoes which I am very excited about. Clearly!

At night, we all got dressed up and headed into Old Tbilisi to go to Kiki’s birthday party.  The Hooka place was rammed and we ended up squeezing into a table with 3 guys (1 of 3 pictures below) from the Czech Republic that had just arrived to Tbilisi. We told them what to check out, what to avoid and gave them a quick Georgian lesson.   We re-joined the birthday goers and off we went to Lobby Bar (a dance club/ lounge thing) were we met a bunch of Georgian rugby players (and the equipment manager hahaha).  We had an awesome time!  We got back to the hostel at about 3ish and everyone passed out.






In the morning, we packed our stuff, got some lunch and went our separate ways.  Lauren and I stayed in Tbilisi for a few hours, walking around and checking out an antique sale of sorts. I ended picking up a Russian award metal given to someone after the war!   


Awesome weekend all in all.